Monday, December 13, 2010

something that might be of interest

I was going through my old *old* files on my computer, and I found a draft of Akire's story that I had written last winter (almost a year ago). I thought that you might like to hear it, seeing as it brought a smile to my face as I read it.

~~~~~~~

I am running down a dark hallway. Something is pursuing me, getting closer and closer, and I can’t be caught. But then I trip and land on my back. Before I can see the face of my pursuer, I wake to face the dark night. Twenty four years old and still stuck in this place, I think to myself. To tell the truth, it isn’t so bad, except for the fact my family seems intent on living as far away from Lewil as possible. Lewil. Loo-will? You’ve never heard of it? What about Lewihaih (loo-eh-high)? No? Oh, I’d best start at the beginning then.

Lewihaih is a planet in the Pegasus Galaxy. We are pretty self-independent. We have adequate defenses against the Wraith-what? You’re telling me that you don’t know what a Wraith is?!?! What world are you from?

Basically, all you need to know is that Wraiths are the most inhumane creatures anywhere. Period. Oh, another little fact you can add to your notes on the Pegasus Galaxy is that Wraiths are like what you call vampires—they suck the life out of you. With their hands. Yes, I did say with their hands. They have these little oval shaped things like suction cups, except a lot stronger, but anyways, they are really evil (duh) and basically intent on making the lives of humans here miserable.

They come and “cull” us every generation or so, basically, they come and drink our life source—what? Oh. I can see that you’re getting a little sick. Uh…would you like a bucket? Okay, ALL THOSE WHO ARE FAINT OF HEART LEAVE NOW!!! Oh, okay, I guess you’ll brave the storm.

To continue, my parents used to live in Lewil. In fact, they were some of the many servants to the Emperor and Empress of Lewihaih. But several years ago, when I was about a year old, they quit their jobs and moved into the wilderness with me. I don’t mind that much.

Yeah right. I mean. It’s great and all living out here in the wild, being so close to nature or whatever, but sometimes I fell like there’s something more. Like the place in my dream. I feel like it is more than a dream. Whoa, I can see that almost twenty-four years in the wilderness haven’t made me any less crazy!

Yep, I’m twenty-four. My parents always say that I can move out by myself if I ever get married, but I don’t think that they would let me go for any reason. Another problem that presents itself is that there is a stunning lack of men my age in the wilderness.

So, back to what happened that morning. I woke up in a cold sweat from a dream in which I was being chased by someone who was probably an axe murderer, to find that it’s the middle of the night and I am being eaten alive by Wraiths in bug form. (A.K.A. mosquitoes)

~~~~~~~

There are several things I decided to change in this story.

1. The dream scene
-I decided to cut this out because it didn't really seem to fit with the story. Creepy dreams? It's really been done to death.

2. This story starts way after the finished one does
-I wanted to explore Akire's childhood, and give her more life before I threw her into action.

3. Akire was originally from Lewihaih (and Lewil was the capital of this planet)
-Nope. She's not. To protect her from the *spoiler*, it would make more sense for her parents to send her to another planet.

4. Akire & her parents live in the wilderness
-This kinda goes along with the reason above. If Akire stayed on the same planet, she would have to go into hiding. On another planet, she would just have to be as inconspicuous as she can be.

5. She is 24
-Meh...I guess I could have kept this the same, but I wanted to make her a little older.

6. I am more funny!
-This reason is hard to explain, but I'll try to break it down. One thing you have to understand is:
This. Is. Not. A. Happy. Go. Lucky. Story.
In fact, it is quite dark. Lots of things that I cannot say for fear of spoilers happen to our young Flickerclaw, things that made me take out the light-hearted tone in the story. I felt that if I made Akire's voice too cheerful, the abrupt change would be...well...abrupt.
Not to say that I don't like writing like this (believe me, the endless opportunity for throwing in jokes is ridiculously addictive) or that nothing good will happen in the story, or Akire turned into a less funny character, I just wanted to set a darker tone to prepare readers for what was coming.
And Akire is hilarious in her own way. She has a great personality, a good smile & laugh, but horrible things happen to her. Let me borrow a phrase from Sirius Black:

You're a good person that bad things have happened to.
~Sirius Black, Harry Potter 5

Couldn't have said it better myself :)

1 comment:

  1. Your story is similar in mood to an anime called "Wolf's Rain". The main characters are wolves in hiding because people kill wolves and they are trying to find "Paradise" which only wolves can get to as all that's left of the world is run down trash cities. At the end, they find paradise is nothing more than **Spoiler**. Basically, it's not what they'd thought it'd be, only one wolf of 5 wolves and 3 humans lives and sees a glimpse of it, then dies...(but are all reborn in **Spoiler** because they are destined for this. Though this time they have something crucial that wasn't there before, so it's not all bad)

    In between the story is full of action, greif, love, regret, friendship, betrayal, forgiveness, and new beginnings.

    It's so sad, my fav character gets shot by the evil guy, he's the first wolf to die(the youngest one of the group too)!

    ReplyDelete

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About Me

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I am an energetic, fun loving girl who enjoys reading, running, and hanging out with my Blogger and real life buddies. I am a fledgling writer (mainly because I suffer from a critical condition of writer's block), who's favorite genres to write are fantasy, sci-fi, and sometimes historical fiction. I also am a BIG daydreamer, and can often be found by a window, fantasizing about a story that I have seen or read. I am also a huge quotist, meaning that I randomly shout out lines from shows and movies that most people haven't seen. Names I have copyrighted are: Akire, Kayana, Azza, Stella, Zyll(ah), Ayla, Kirwan, Jetstorm, Burnfang, and Flickerclaw.